My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
