i wish starbucks made bloody marys
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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