you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
