My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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