i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
