i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
