sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
