kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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