so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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