Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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