Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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