i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
