on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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