Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize