doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
