So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
