also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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