how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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