Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Two words: blizzard sex
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize