PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
