And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
