I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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