Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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