I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
