If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
