If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize