We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
