i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
