Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Randomize
