the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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