I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
