I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm bleeding and have questions
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
