so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
