ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
