The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
