dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
