I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize