8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize