I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
