Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
