Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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