standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
