So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Houston, we have a squirter
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
