There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I supernannyed him into submission
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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