so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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