if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
