Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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