Its about making memories worth repressing
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
