singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
soo... how was my night?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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