Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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