My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
