i just had sex bonerless
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
