Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
