So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
