You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
