Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
