he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
