My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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