too bad you live with your parents still
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
